Stay-at-home moms often feel underappreciated and a recent Reddit post – about a working father who wants his dinner served hot when he gets home from work – explains why.
The mother of two children, a three-year-old and a six-month-old, wrote to Reddit‘s “Am I the a**hole” to talk about her husband, an ambulance driver, who holds her to a pretty high standard: “…he works odd hours and comes home unexpectedly , he expects dinner or lunch to be ready whenever he comes home or I sleep or take care of the kids It’s exhausting but do it because I know how to how hard he works.
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She decided to meet him halfway, spending two days preparing his meal and keep them in the refrigerator for him to warm them up, a solution that would allow him to sleep and take care of his children without interruption. However, the mother said she woke up one night to her husband screaming. “I rush over and ask what’s going on and he tells me he’s hungry and wants dinner,” she wrote on Reddit. “I tell him it’s in the fridge and just needs to be warmed up and he didn’t have to wake me up for that. He tells me I have to go and warm it up for him. I say no, that’s not happening and he has to heat up his own dinner.
This response angered her husband. “He starts laughing sarcastically which drove me crazy,” she wrote. “He then tells me that I am ridiculous to assume that after working [non] stopping for an entire shift that he should be “expected” to do a chore, aka, reheat dinner itself, when I’m here and can do it.
The woman refused to back down and the argument continued. “He comes an hour later screaming that I almost made him pass out from starvation just because I’m trying to prove a point,” she wrote. “I tell him it’s unreasonable to expect me to heat up his dinner when he could do it himself. He gives me a mean look and then tells me that he is going to bed hungry and that I am responsible for it, then he leaves. This morning, he dresses in silence and leaves, turning off his phone.
Now the mum is asking if she was being mean for insisting her husband use the microwave – and Reddit has moved on.
“This is abusive and not acceptable at all. Please seek help,” someone wrote in response, adding, “He expects you to put aside your own well-being and your children doing something he can do very well on his own… But more than that – it’s a power play… It’s not about allowing him to eat or have food, it’s about ‘get what he wants – control over you. ”
“He also wants to blame you for his choice to go to bed hungry, which has nothing to do with you – the food is there, he can heat it up or cook himself,” another wrote.
Readers with family members of essential workers acknowledged the hardships of the occupation, but insisted that the OP’s partner (original poster) did not carry enough weight. “My partner is a paramedic who works 12 hour days and always cooks his own food before he comes in and after he comes out, especially since he works nights,” they wrote. “It’s excruciating.”
“My brother is a firefighter,” someone added. “He works 24 hours changes. Do you know what he does when he comes home? He prepares his family breakfast. Because he misses them. Another said: “My husband is a truck driver, he often works 16 hours a day. Besides taking the energy drinks I buy for myself, he manages on his own when he works late.
And someone reminded readers that stay-at-home parenting isn’t easy. “OP, don’t forget that you are work too. Coming home without having to do anything other than put your pre-prepared, homemade meal in the microwave is a serious challenge. good deal.”
Yes! The work, whether outside or inside the home, is difficult and no one’s contributions should be undermined. A little appreciation goes a long way.
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